my life, my goals, my mistakes
"there's so already many people studying around me, i should start my study plans real soon"
two weeks ago,
"fuck, im getting worried, almost everyone is already miles ahead of me, im still on the same spot wandering. i shall start next week."
a week ago,
"im still here. im worried, but i havent made any actions. i must start next week. MUST."
i've been telling myself these craps for so many weeks, even the start of term 3. yet i've not done anything productive, staying in school to study is just another excuse to finish the work i've not finish that day. everyday, i'm just making end meets, not pushing the line further. till today, im determined to start. TODAY, at this fucked-up moment. my mum talked to me, in that drained out tone when she's mopping the floor &my eyes fixed on this computer.
"it's time to study, lun. you have to study that much. that much, your exams' round the corner, you have not much time to waste, not much till you have to fill everyday to it's brim until you cannot take it anymore, till i feel like tearing up the books until i dont wanna look any white sheets, till i can answer everything the teacher ask until you can never forget anything you've ever read, till you think you've done enough until you are proud of what you've done." -mum-
dont wait till you lose what you've won, friends. study hard. this's the 2nd last month. your fate lies in you hand, if you're just like me, dragging and consoling yourself everyday about how early it is, how easy will 'o' be. dont worry, you're still not late,. let's start together now, let your life be only you and your notes and your books and your brains. after two months, everything will be gone. love yourself, your life.
signed off @ 7:36 PM
