i've made up my mind.
decisions made.
im leaving soon.

signed off @ 5:25 PM

Life.. how many times do you want me to lie to myself that everything you have for me is the best for me? since O levels, to getting into poly and then into my course.. umpteen times i've told myself that you've given me the best i can get, even though i dont want it, i still accepted it. but this time i really couldnt take it anymore. on my way home from school, i told myself that this's nothing to be emotional about, nothing to be angered about. now im still upset. why did you make me different, no matter how prepared i am, still couldnt get what i wanted. then you'd throw the rest of the unwanted to me. always tried to think it in another way to cheer myself up, accept the ugly truth. but it has been months, years.. if you aint tired, im exhausted alr. you made me feel that no matter how hard i try. the results would be the same failure. i really need to and want to string back myself to prepare for the next challenge you'd give me. do i really have to get used to failing, then you'd stop all this? im sorry but i cant take it anymore. i really need to take a break after so much of lying to myself..dont hang me in mid-air, giving myself a small glimpse of hope and fail me after that. i took a step forward then you'd push me ten steps behind. physically im in the front, mentally im nowhere to be found now.. i really hope you arent that unfair. seriously..

signed off @ 9:33 PM

it's my temasek poly's ORIENTATION!
kinda boring though.. only for a few mins, yes mins, i think that the orientation was fun. the rest was so shit. but i know many new friends today, so..yea.
Law&Management 1L01 !

signed off @ 1:08 AM

it's been long since I've last blog. Im lazy to blog plus there's nothing really interesting to blog about recently. other than belated birthday for me (14thMarch) and our class chalet! (16th17thMarch). -youcaptivatedmemuch&iloveyoumuch.

LadyGaga: Captivated.
One look and Im done
One glance from your eyes and Im captivated
The taste of your skin
The warmth of your hungry lips has me so taken
And I love the way you can make me dance from miles away
When Im with you Im so sedated Im captivated by you.
Youre just like the wind cause everything moves when youre around
The sun is just like the sound of your voice in the morning when you light my world up
And I love the way you can make me dance from miles away
When Im with you Im never jaded Im captivated
Ill never stop believing in this crazy love we're leading
Sugar hold me close and make me sweeter I need you, I love you
So please show me that smile make me laugh for just a little while
Then breathe me one breath I only need one to fill the emptiness
And I love the way you can make me dance from miles away
Its been so long but now Ive waited and now Im captivated..

signed off @ 3:09 AM

ok, this photo is quite long ago. first day of cny.
im super sick this few days. stupid flu. btw, haiz. realise the previous friday was like the last OUR friday alr. last friday was, my friday and your friday. it was so different. dont tell me im over sensitive or what. my over sensitivity only tells me the truth. so.. yea. we're no longer like, close/good/best friends alr. we all, no correction, is they all have their own new life already. and i dont think this Every-Friday-Outing would last long. and april's arriving, poly starts school. that's even a big GG. Weilun has changed, Zongwei changed too. really hopes things would get better. cheers friends.

or issit i changed?

everytime i see my phone, i hope the one message received was from you.
everytime i on msn, i hope the online contacts has you.

i always wanted to reply, i miss you/i love you.
i always wanted to start my first convo with you.
but none, came true. :/

signed off @ 1:33 AM

it's that typical friday with a little bit of twist.
i like every friday where we'd get together, just for a dinner&fun.
weilun,zongwei,jordan,yushen,eeron. ^^v

signed off @ 10:36 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEILUN!
4TH FEB!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YANGRONG!
5TH FEB!

signed off @ 10:29 PM

If I walk would you run
If I stop would you come
If I say you're the one would you believe me
If I ask you to stay would you show me the way
Tell me what to say so you don't leave me
The world is catching up to you
While your running away to chase your dream
It's time for us to make a move cause we are asking one another to change
And maybe I'm not ready

But I'm trying for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough

If I sing you a song would you sing along
Or wait till I'm gone, oh how we push and pull
If I give you my heart would you just play the part
Or tell me it's the start of something beautiful
Am I catching up to you
While your running away, to chase your dreams
It's time for us to face the truth cause we are coming to each other to change
And maybe I'm not ready

But I'm trying for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough
I will try for your love
I can hide up above

If I walk would you run
If I stop would you come
If I say you're the one would you believe me...

signed off @ 2:53 PM

it's been 9 days seen i've blog.
&i've got my results, submit the school i wanna go to.

#1 Accounting&finance- TP
#2 Law- TP
#3 Aviation management- TP
#4 Aerospace engineering- TP
#5 Maritime Business- SP
#6 Maritime engineering- SP
#7 Business- TP





fuck you chibai bitch.
not because he is _______ then he will be more ______. asshole.
how i wish i could point this finger _|_ at your fat face.
god damn your mother's cb. fucktard ass.
look at the overall scope. &dont judge a book by its cover.
goddamn you seriously. dont ______ then dont. i dont give a fuck damn.

signed off @ 4:49 PM

so, im finally getting back my results for O's. it's so fast. like the last post was just about O levels, now, im getting it back. im really worried fuck for it. &my confidence level is really dead low. dont really anticipate the results. seriously. i dont know wat to do if my results were lousy. i need to get into a jc. good/middle range one would be perfect. pls.

signed off @ 4:04 PM

my last post of the year 2009. &this is also the 300th post

so how's my 2009,
i couldnt say it's full of ups and downs, but definitely it's not smooth. had my O levels, studied my hardest the first time. etc etc. made friends, hate friends. played mahjong like crazy, emo like crazy. laugh like there's no tomorrow, cried too. of course there's so much memory left, for me - ChungCheng, 4Modesty, secondary school life, all my friends,... but there's too much to say here.

&i'll end this year with Lady Gaga's Speechless. & BadRomance.
wishing all a happy year ahead.

iloveyoubadly.badlylikecrazy.crazylikemad.madlikeinsane.
myonlyregretin2009isthatwestilldontknoweachotherinperson.
butknowingyoulikethisisalrwonderfulforme.
suddenly,iwanttoletyouknowthat.
iloveyou.
&imseriousyougotmesocrazy.
youandmecouldwriteabadromance.

signed off @ 5:04 PM

MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL! (dunno why some ppl will say "marry" instead of "merry" ROFL)


my cute cute new-born nephew came over to my house, of course also all my relatives, to have a sumptuous xmas dinner. he's only 2months old! cute ttm right. haha. same like me.




right after that, around 10+ went for supper-cum-overnight with my best friends, wl zw ys,. haha we had a midnight steamboat at bugis which was awesome. &just chatt and walk around.

signed off @ 1:26 AM

finally i've got a job. and today's my first day.
was rather super fucking assholy tiring. the BabNoodle@Millenia is out to work me out.. wat's with the $6/hr but working me like a donkey.
zonwei's lucky i would say. wrking as a cashier on non peak hours. i worked as waiter during peak hour. assed up. damn lo. but for the sake of money. i'll bite my teeth and continue.

signed off @ 10:32 PM

my first picnic! @marina barrage
my first teacher's wedding!

ok, actually i wanted to let this blog go dead already. but i dreamt of something yesterday night and made me super feel like blogging it.
my dream was the release of O'levels results. i was damn happy to see. L1R5: 9points. i totally laughed and everything. but then on the closer look,
English: A6 Emaths: A2 Science: A2 Amaths: A6 Geography: C6
LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. and there's this section saying: "Subjects unavailable to mark: Combined Humans and Higher Chinese."
so, it should actly be L1R5 : 22. _|_ im damn fucking scared now. WITH A6. should my O's really screwed like this. im gone. seriously. im worried fuck now. ...

signed off @ 1:57 PM

our Prom Night '09: the Masquerade evening/ MarinaMandarin

the few miserables from 4MD! but we were happy then!


mrYazeed & mrGan

mrSo & mrGan























my happy ending.
overnight at hotel FuramaCityCentre after that with the 6guys
it was an awesome night. AWESOME. although with some little regrets on wat i didnt do.
was super high and everything. the night we got a little truthful and naked. LOL

signed off @ 8:30 PM

since my holiday starts, i've been sleeping at 3-4+am. &waking up at 2-3+pm the next morning. hence i could say i woke up earliest today. lol. 1pm.
did i mention i went to town 4 times this week alr. monday tuesday thursday friday to orchard. and went chinatown yesterday. bought stuffs for myself. &wtfbbq, my bank went burst cause of my shopping spree this week.zzz

signed off @ 1:14 PM

spend my day out for today and yesterday.
really didnt spend so much of my time outside for damn long, and im feeling great.

yesterday was job interview. then abit of shopping. and then finally the anticipated movie 2012. last my house mahjong again. although there was a small interlude in between. but it's fine. then went off to parkway with yangrong cause he had to shop for a gift for someone. &also dinner tgt.

today went out with yangrong again. tamp-orchard-cityhall-home. from 2+ to 8. lol tiring day.

Memories are a burden, that's why im starting to forget.
Memories are a burden, that's why im forgetting to remember.

signed off @ 8:47 PM

"why do i look so good in this photo?"
it's past 12am now.
haha &i anticipate morning's job interview at ngeeanncity. COOL. my first job interview thanks to zongwei. so me weilun zongwei's going for the interview. &i've asked yangrong out alr after that. then we can eat shop play around orchard. anyway im not planning to go home before 11pm! approx 10more hours b4 the interview! hahaha

signed off @ 12:19 AM

finally i made it through the last paper ytd. although it was kinda tough to be science mcqs hahaha. maybe i didnt really study much. was quite relieved to end my secondary school shit life. but was quite lost in what to do in the future... maybe the past next months. but well...
overnight at yangrong's house mahjong and comp again! cool right, like the first day after O's str away go overnight. then today actually wanting to catch 2012 together. know something shit about EngWah cinemas. we went in and sat there for one hour. &the movie didnt start. there's this error thing,. and we were told to give them 10mins to solve. but. after and hour, they decide to give us a refund. fcking useless engwah.

signed off @ 11:40 PM

3 more ****ing papers &im seriously free.
i have 987654321x things i wanna do. first is to catch up with all the lost touched friends.
actually this year's o levels is damn difficult ttm. super. especially amaths emaths paper is much more undo-able than last year's. i really hope can get good results even though it's alr ... gone case now. pls i nid to get into a good course in poly. not even trying to think about a good jc alr. cb. screw screw screw i only console ppl about eveyrthing. but when it's my turn... ...




EMILY: haha im not emo la. miss you too!

signed off @ 2:05 AM

haha this is funny.! check it out! hahahaa.
must compare beyonce's mv with this. you'll laugh your ass off man. haha and the expression on this fake obama is classic. GO ON!
UH oh oh Uh Oh oh oh oh OH uh oh OH ~

had my science prac today. wasnt really easy. let's hope for the best for the papers!!!
till then... ...

signed off @ 6:10 PM

3 days have passed since i last talked to you.
and now it's 4 mins left to the 4th day alr. everyday passing makes me feel worse more and more...

signed off @ 11:55 PM

only 11 more days to the start of my first paper.
it's been quite hard on me, especially on chemistry and my humans. my chemistry's level of knowledge is unimaginaryly low. LOW. always been fcked-up with myself. not knowing simple stuffs. like soluble/insoluble salts. alkanes/alkenes. and eveyrthing else. science is like the 2nd subject i must get a1 so to keep my L1R5 as low as possible. but. it doesnt seems right now. on the outside, i seemed relax and blur about everything. but actly inside me, im so worried, so nervous about everything. im afraid i'll lose everything. be it com.humans or geog, none has been my passing subject. not even a D7. im starting to beg for help alr. like these few days. but is it too late?

signed off @ 11:47 PM

finally, my five years of secondary school life ended.
im a graduate from sec school! haha. this sentence sounds wrong. but i like it! now, it's juts left with olevels. i swear i'll definitely miss my class 4modesty. miss mrslim, mrng, msyong, mrskee and everyone else. this isnt the last goodbye i hope my friends ... cheers&goodluck for everything from now on. :)

signed off @ 11:36 PM

the last days of schooling in chungcheng.
speaking of this with mixed feelings, i dont really would miss chungcheng. but definitely, the fun and the happenings i experience here would give me many sleepless nights. the friends i had. the five years here. the every little thing that would turn me upside down.
i would think it's not the time to end; but it's ending soon.

signed off @ 10:45 PM

im back! with my prelims results, although it aint good results, but i did made some improvements :)

English: 52 c6
HCL: 61 b4
Emaths: P1-56/80 P2-72/100 = 71 a2
Amaths: P1-59/80 P2-41/100 = 55 c5
Science: Physics-50/100 Chem-52/100 = 51 c6
C.Humans: 37 f9
P.Geog: 37 f9

lol, failed my humanities badly. !@#$%^&*
&my amaths, if not because of paper2 !@#$%^&*

L1R5 - 32!
it isnt good, but at least improvements from mid year L1R5 39. Cheers.
&work hard all, one more month to go.

signed off @ 5:03 PM

today's DAY 2 of FUNNNNNN!
it is a horror day. with yangrong yushen jordan weixuan. woa god damn. 5 horror stories in just 125mins. WORTH IT! &it's very exciting. although not really ask good as 4bia, Coming-Soon etc. but it's scary and funny and everything you couldn't expect. haha the last story was a blast. it was a horrorifying joke i would say. haha.

time for tags reply:
chinyu> yea. im replying tags... now. haha it's beeen soooo loooonnnnggg.
rudin> edward. how you doing? hope everything's fine. goodluck!
weed> lol emo-teens ftw. anyway. stop breaking up with people. you'll make quen jealous
anon> k, i'll ttt-rrr-yyy to contain my anger. thanks.

signed off @ 11:17 PM

ytd was the first day of FUNNNN right after prelims.
it was gaming @yangrong's place. which include-
mahjong;
DotA;
MapleStory (only weilun, hahah cause he found a hack, god-damn)
yangrong treat us to chicken rice, yes 'a $2.50 chicken rice ONLY'. anyway. we owned him at mahjong. me zongwei and jordan. he only won like,,, 2rounds? hahah. anyway he's a good host,. yushen, weixuan and weilun, riwen just gamed like there's no tomorrow. oh i LIKE YESTERDAY.

signed off @ 6:09 PM

today's AMATHS PAPER 2 was FUCKED.
this paper was so difficult until i feel like walking out of the hall and give up. you'll do the paper and get angry on the same time. and start all ur vulgarities going on and on and on. most of all, you'll feel like knowing who's the setter and fcuk his face out of this. &wtf, the setter was that fatass ryanchia. _|_ cb. it's was uncomparable to TYS's paper. DAMN ryanchia and his fuck brains.

signed off @ 8:04 PM

today, 14th september marks the end of holidays.
and start of another torturing week of exams. first hit is chemistry. this fucking subject that i've been pondering &worrying for this past one week holiday. im so, afraid. i get insomnia everynight and sleeps only at 3+ 4am. cause i'll force myself to understand, memorise, learn a particular chapter, formula, concept. but i just couldnt get them into my brain. im really really very afraid of chemistry paper. every knowledge about this subject just pass by my brain and knock it off. i dunno why i just cannot understand this whole subject. it's 12 am now, im still at where am i the same day last week. after days and days of learning everything, it just bounces off me, again easily. im really at my wits end, not knowing what to do for me to really master this whole thing. tsk. the concepts just stuck at my eyes, only. eyes. they didnt really get in beyond these windows. the moment i remembered this part, i'll forget the previous one. when going back to the previous one, brain juice just flush down the new ones. this's the first time im so terrified about one subject, but i couldnt give up,. the usual me would just give up in 2 days of repeating task, but not now. for 8 days, im feeling tired of chemistry alr. whenever i flip but to the previous chapter to recapture my memories, i would go: "oh ya! ya, ya..". Then, eveyrthing will start repeating itself. im really damn stucked&fucked up by everything. yet my friends seems 'ok', 'fine' about this. i really work very hard already. if i really flung this, im sorry mrs kee. we both tried our best. im most afraid, nobody can help me already. im left alone facing this shit. facing everything. everytime when im feeling troubled, i'll always say that :im fine, im okay, i dont really care anyway. but actually im not. im fucking not fine and not okay and i care. i hoped i can really just turn my back and not care for anything, but i couldnt force myself to do so. .. im suspecting, suspecting you. finally, i admit im sad, petrified, disappointed. &i've seen through it alr. ..
im not alone, but im lonesome.

&lastly, Happy Birthday Emily. :0

signed off @ 12:06 AM

September holiday starts today! (lol, i just spent around 2mins figuring how to spell september). but this's not an anticipated holiday. sian. i already started pia-ing my chemistry today &i feel that my chemistry really sucks ttm. i dunno how to figure out simple stuffs like, reducing/oxidising agent etc. exo and endo thermic zzz. imma gonecase in science,.. meeting mrs kee tomorrow. hope it's productive :) gogo prelims!

signed off @ 11:04 PM

Happy Teachers' Day! all teachers.

signed off @ 1:19 AM

WE'RE STUDIOUS. LOL

one week of tensed up exams are over. which includes, sci prac, english, ss, amaths p1 and o'levels oral. actually, to be honest, all are gonecase. my oral is the worst. worst ever i've ever done. to some extent the picture was very difficult, the conversation is needless to say. had ss ytd and amaths today. i studied first 2 themes for ss yet they come out with the other 3 useless themes. wtf man. amaths wasnt confident of passing. but there's hope in it. that's all. til then.




look at bravo zongwei!
he didnt really stand there to pose for me. haha we're on our way home, walking, we got stuck at some dead end of some private housings. then there was this drain. &we decided to walk thru. all this positions were just zongwei thinking how to climb up after we reach the end. haha. hilarious!

signed off @ 10:58 PM

just recovered from a headache. gosh damnit, my head's in pain for many days &i've been relying on panadol. is it the hot weather or is it my health? been suspecting myself with brain cancer or a tumour growing there. lol wat joke.

anyway, if this is what you want, then, that's it. have we ever been true to each others b4? maybe, we were. but not now, recently, this whole 2009. i've always wanted to be the best friend anyone will have. but it comes down to nothing in the end. sorry for losing you, a true, best, favourite, close friend.

signed off @ 9:59 PM

i had alot ALOT of fun today at PE.
brings back the memories of 2integrity; the days we always rush down during recess/ after school to chop the court to play soccer. haha. so, yea, today's pe was soccer at the street soccer court. weilun today's keeper reminds me of pangyi, where everytime i would just stand beside him, our class best keeper, and defend that square frame together. there's fergus and changsong who's always in the same team &act pro (haha explains wat happened to cs's pikachu nickname). freddy and tzeyong who's always opposite, chiong ftw. edward will be the other team's keeper, imitate's py in a funny way. &yongzhi and jiajie who's sometimes useless, but never fails to bring laughters. fengmao who's out of the situation most of the time. &me, the blunder king. haha.

maybe., i should spend more time,. or 4md should spend more time together. counting down, 73 days more and we're off to ourselves alone. i want to have a feeling of, im missing my 3years ago class 3years later. when we grow older, there's a 4md for us to think of. we should have class lunches, class studies etc.

3years from now, i would want to say,:
today brought back ALOT of my memories of 4modesty... ...

signed off @ 8:56 PM

rushing all work. need to sleep. going to school is a chore. losing my patience. sleep. cadbury white/dark. ruffles saltvinegar. tv. amaths. fury temper. hatred. jealousy. fuck/

signed off @ 9:43 PM

three weeks ago,
"there's so already many people studying around me, i should start my study plans real soon"
two weeks ago,
"fuck, im getting worried, almost everyone is already miles ahead of me, im still on the same spot wandering. i shall start next week."
a week ago,
"im still here. im worried, but i havent made any actions. i must start next week. MUST."

i've been telling myself these craps for so many weeks, even the start of term 3. yet i've not done anything productive, staying in school to study is just another excuse to finish the work i've not finish that day. everyday, i'm just making end meets, not pushing the line further. till today, im determined to start. TODAY, at this fucked-up moment. my mum talked to me, in that drained out tone when she's mopping the floor &my eyes fixed on this computer.

"it's time to study, lun. you have to study that much. that much, your exams' round the corner, you have not much time to waste, not much till you have to fill everyday to it's brim until you cannot take it anymore, till i feel like tearing up the books until i dont wanna look any white sheets, till i can answer everything the teacher ask until you can never forget anything you've ever read, till you think you've done enough until you are proud of what you've done." -mum-

dont wait till you lose what you've won, friends. study hard. this's the 2nd last month. your fate lies in you hand, if you're just like me, dragging and consoling yourself everyday about how early it is, how easy will 'o' be. dont worry, you're still not late,. let's start together now, let your life be only you and your notes and your books and your brains. after two months, everything will be gone. love yourself, your life.

signed off @ 7:36 PM

WHY THE FUCK YOU MIND SO MUCH WHEN YOU SWEARED YOU WOULDN'T CARE ABOUT THEM ANYMORE?

FUCK EERON. &this happy national day

signed off @ 3:57 PM

count count.
prelims are only a mere 2weeks round the corner. &im just trying to start my revision. my life's so sad man. when all my friends are mid way through revision, im just trying to flip open my textbook. how?. my geog is gone. ss is gone. ehist gone. science gone. only left with both maths and both languages to save myself. die die. and 1month&3weeks to olevels. GG.

was home so late. on the bus ride i was thinking,
:"hmm, this year's ndp fireworks, who should i go watch with?"
after cancelling many 'participants' (cause they wont/dont/cant make it), im left with NONE. thanks for having no friends eeron.

signed off @ 9:45 PM

today's oral was GG.
the conversation part is like:
Many people are being individualistic nowadays. What do you think about this?
&
Are individualistic people less passion for the less priviledged?

sian. with my sick mind, im already thinking like 0.5 of my normal speed, i have to encounter this kinda challenging questions. lucky it's only prelims. if it's oral, .. you cant think more.

after oral, i felt more sick than ever. went back home around 4++ alone. couldnt wait more. need some rest. previously in class, i reached school around 11, then took my chem test, then the next lesson took physics test. LOL. the physics test abit difficult, &the chem test was quite smooth.
SICK SICK SICK. get well soon eeron.

signed off @ 11:33 PM

goodnews:
#1
i've got a MC for tomorrow.
cause down with cough, sore throat, fever..etc.
was at the doctors &im suppose to declare for H1N1 syntoms.
&was forced to wear a mask hahahaha.
doctor advised me not to go school tomorrow.
but if i really need to go, i have to wear the mask to school, even though he said it isn't H1N1.

#2
my cousin is having a GrandOpening of his 2nd shop @ Orchard Cineleisure, after his first one at HajiLane. friends, go support if free this saturday. the orchard one is on shoes and accessories, the haji one is on clothes wear. thanks thanks.

bad news:
#1
tomorrow's chemistry test on Theme4. chapter 10- 13. GG
no mood+tired+sick. i cant study.
:(

#2
tomorrow's PRELIMS ORAL. im suffering from sorethroat &currently mute. hope i'll get well tomorrow. but, am i going school tomorrow? LOL!

signed off @ 8:44 PM

WAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAK!
MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!
I HATE HATE HATE.
HER.HER. HER. LOL.CHEERS!

signed off @ 11:07 PM

actually nothing would've change.
sometimes, when you say you dunno which one to choose,
u want both.
sometimes, when you say you dunno the answer,
it's already very obvious.
my bolster has replaced you for weeks. &im feeling fine already.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FUCKED UP
why the hell im SLOWER.
contradicting post.

signed off @ 2:40 AM

would you stop this?
would anything change if you had answered my call that night?
would anything have change if you had replied my sms that night?
would i be better if we didnt go out drinking?

signed off @ 10:03 PM

today had my dinner at bishan.
actually only wanted to eat ShihLin chicken only.
but in the end there was a pasar malam!
haha, i had
my favourite fried fish sticks, friend banana, ramly burger, kueh tutu &cup corn.
ENJOYED like !@#$%^&*( haha. so nice ^^v

&&&anticipate thursday's lunch! :)

signed off @ 9:17 PM

Happy Birthday Chinnnnnn on 10th July! :)

BoOm BOom BoOm Gotta Get That!

&im not in the correct mood these few days,
everything doesnt seems to be right.
life's been stress, cause i made them stress. zzz
i've always trying to be
a good friend,
a good student,
a good son,
but all like shit,,
i shouldn't have fcking retained. im living a poly/jc life now.
be it more stress or not, it should be damn better.
where's my friends? ..friends.

signed off @ 11:54 AM

she aint the queen, neither am i king.
but we're happy then. :)

signed off @ 10:21 PM

What have I got to do to make you love me
What have I got to do to make you care
What do I do when lightning strikes me
And I wake to find that you're not there

What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I say when it's all over
And sorry seems to be the hardest word

It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word

What do I do to make you love me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I do when lightning strikes me
What have I got to do
What have I got to do
When sorry seems to be the hardest word

signed off @ 8:15 PM

class outing was great! although a pinchful of ppl turned up.
overnighting was greater!
only us the guys overnight-ed; wl zw jord yr ys rw me.
play a fool. mess around. catch a movie.
that's life.
&school starts tomorrow!
i haven played enough & my homeworks not done. GG>!

signed off @ 11:03 PM

happy holidays all.
it's been long since i blog.
&today's topic is, tomorrow's 4MD's Class outing @sentosa!

holiday's been stoning at home. kinda bored.
the bored-est holiday ever.
anticipating tomorrow. cause we're overnight-ing there.
:)

signed off @ 9:55 PM

yesterday went out with Emily Queenie &Jiajie.
damn fun&cool. haha
watched: Ghosts of Girlfriends Past; which was quite nice&meaningful
-photos soon- lazy update
i love my ex-friends. WOOHOO.

today's dinner was sharkfin+crab+many more.
@ the Siamnese Fin's Restaurant.
the food there is shioooookkk sia. cause i got a claypot of sharkfin to myself. unlike some vermicilli, this sharkfin comes in PIECE. 2 pieces of sharkfins ftw.
but the price is. ... ... ya know.
update again.

signed off @ 9:45 PM

today's thursday. which means wednesday is over!
haha, im much more relaxed now.

today on my way home.
i've thought alot. alot alot. alot alot alot.
&thus i wanted to say sorry.
sorry to all my friends. sorry to everyone of you out there.
in one way or another, if i've
-offended
-quarreled with
-fought with
-scolded.
im sorry.
there's this long long story. but i dun wanna mention it.
give me some time to change.
my msn nick reads: hey, Dont be a jerk.
but now, i realise, the real jerk is me.

signed off @ 7:21 PM

im so troubled by this matter.
so should i go or not go next wednesday?
im feeling so vexed. tsk.
lucky i have my durian cake and ice cream,
clear up my mind.

signed off @ 1:05 AM

lol edward's back in sgp!
met up with him on thursday. went his house to play then have sakae sushi.
HIS HOUSE IS SERIOUSLY IMBA BIG AND NICE.
lol will update some photos when he send me.

friday was release of results and meeting of mrscheng.
"im feeling quite ok with my results ley"
lol. thanks to thoes fcukedup friends for ur bucket of cold water.

satuday+sunday probably only sleeping.
but had a family gathering at the changi village seafood centre.
WAS DAMN NICE.
then took a walk around changi beach.
"i like there"

today went parkway pool with weilun&zongwei.
we seriously laugh and joke around.
nice day to start.
CHeers Friends.

I WANNA WACTH A MOVIE. C'mon anyone?

signed off @ 5:10 PM

ok, here's how it goes.
im now. freaking umcomfortable about having to finish SS and EHIST prelims 1 corrections by today.
on the marking scheme goes,
"5marks will be rewarded next term for the corrections to be done and handed in by 27/05"
but, next term there's prelims 2. then after tht O levels.
DO WE NEED ALL THIS EXTRA MARKS FOR THEM?
we only use the actual marks we got on the exams itself.
so wat? is this some lying session?
i seriously dont mind doing corrections as long as enough time is given.
but u dont have to tempt us with this.
im not an experienced kiddo. but i can see through this.
thanks to my sensitivity.
i'll just do my corrections like a loser. cause it helps.
but i dont like it when, i know its wrong, its right, but im not correcting the person.
DAMN.

signed off @ 10:21 PM

im freaking tired for walking home from katong.sc
yea tired, emo, disappointment, &everything.
let's talk things out here,
guys, i wasnt angry, piss off with u all lan-ing for 2hours+
i was fine. i even went to parkway alone for my icecream and bubble tea.
i was ok. im someone who's so easy to coax; temper-less.but i was so disappointed.
AREN'T WE FRIENDS? DIDNT WE HAVE A DATE FOR A GOOD LUNCH ALR?
i was sad ya know,
why did u all treat me so coldly after the games. why
ok, let's not say coldly. why u all did not try to talk to me;joke with me; care for me?
we are good friends.
im someone who wont seriously set my temper on you easily.
because i dont dare. im afraid.
u all were my everything. my only friends left.
but tht wasnt the case for you all. u all still had DOZENS of MILLIONS.
losing me seems nothing to you all. but losing y'all means MUCH MORE THAN EVERYTHING.
i may seems restless,dulan-ness, unhappiness, laziness sometimes/somedays.
but u all were still my friends. WHEN DID I EVER F-ING LOSE MY TEMPER.
im someone who nids care and concern. ALOT. im a sensitive being. im humane.
we may not have the same thinking. same mindset.
but i'll try to accomodate with y'guys. im fine with all ur decisions as long as we're doing the same thing together. i dont mind being left out because i know y'all are still there.
i know little bout soccer/dota/good results etc.
but i dont mind listening to y'all talk. it's like .. i nid y'all voice to continue my this f-ing ChungCheng life. this is like how much a tree nids the sunlight, water, nutrients to continue living./ !.
im emo about this. sad about this.
sometimes i feel myself being useless, i useless friend/ i failed friend of yours
i friend that do you even treat as one?

just now when i left at the chicken rice stall, i left because i wanna stop this awkward-ness of me in affecting u. i dont wan to lose my temper on y'all, not showing my f-ing tears to y'all, not trying to force u to care for me. we are friends right.
i swear im seriously not unhappy bout this. although it's kinda waste of my time.
but at least we're spending time 2gther.
i tot we understood each other so much alr. but now, we havent. 2years of friendship.
WE SHOULD SERIOUSLY talk. TALK MORE.
the thing tht seriously hit me off is tht im not being seek after.
y'all didnt even bother to talk to me after that. Wtf?
i dont need a sorry.thankyou. even a 'how's life' could make my day.

ok, tht's all. above's just wat im thinking, wat im feeling.
nevermind&sorry if we're thinking differently.
BUT IM SERIOUSLY FCKING NOT ANGRY.
IM SERIOUS> BUT, CHICKEN RICE SRSLY PISSED ME OFF>
kthxbye.

signed off @ 5:16 PM

shyt. L1R5 38points. DANG IT!
will work extremely hard for prelims 2. ~!

signed off @ 9:07 PM

omg.wtf.tmd. my mid year is screwed!
other than my emaths which is. see-able, THE REST IS SHIT!
how?! my L1R5 is like reaching 35le!
DANG! GONE!

signed off @ 11:07 PM

haha. guess what.
i got B3 67 for this fcking mid year for emaths!
although it's not a like.
OVER THE RAINBOW SCORE,
but im happy already :)

signed off @ 9:00 PM

today's test papers were kinda DISASTROUS.
lol,. i failed my english, again.
&almost failed chinese. lucky me.
now alr got 13points for L1R1 haha. wat a joke!
hope all the best for the next few subjects! >.<

signed off @ 8:23 PM

yea.. friends.
fucked up ones. / im sure i wasnt too sensitive.
i can come up with a A1 essay for sure about this whole thing.

signed off @ 4:38 PM

finally end of this fuking shyt. i've alr gotten over it, not going to care too much for bad results produced &work hard for the second prelims. im suppose to have fun. joke. rock. around like a madder. but i aint doing so. im even more fcuked up then i was. why. !@#$%^&*( damn this shyt.

let's talk about the papers instead:
english- i hope i had written more in-point for my essay at the very last few paragraphs. &i hope im not being too criticised at the letter of complaint.
chinese- let's not talk about this tough one. wat's with the chinese department?
emaths- damn. i tot it was kinda easy. but ... yea.
amaths- screwed, cause fcuking hell forget how to deferentiate!
science- WTF @ the MCQs. &physics was kinda gonecase
combined humans- why didnt i study more on srilanka, why didnt i finish treaty of versailles?
geog- fcuked up. who can finish the whole thing? ~!@#$%^&*

today was movie outing [the Uninvited] with friends.

signed off @ 11:13 PM

arrrr, after so long, soooo long.
i still realise, you are my only one.
your smile, your eyes, your personality, your cuteness, your innocence.
although i know this will be a story with no ending, i'd still go for it, for i know, i only need a process &a love to talk about.
who can give another killer smile like you did to me?
that innocent pair of eyes you've got?
the comical you? there's no second you left for me to choose.
comic girl. :)

signed off @ 5:20 PM

wth is wrong with swine flu, tht cause upside down in the school.
we have to take temperature once we step in the school.
take temperature during every papers just to make sure we're not >37.6degree.
lol. swine flu will be the last to hit chungcheng man. im serious.

anyway. last weekend was disastrous.
i completely did not study a thing. ok not completely.
friday was slacking at home/ saturday studied with jordan at his house/ sunday practically just sleeps in.
but i am quite confident, maybe/maybe not tht i may/ maynot pass today's ss.
it was kinda tricky but i did study tht chapter for SEQ.
goodluck for HIST tomorrow.
BYE

signed off @ 11:52 PM

ytd marks the start of prelims one.
English was kinda okay-to-do because i forced myself to concentrate.
but today's H.Chinese was a killer.
the passage was difficult &the qns were tricky as well. damnit.

im gonna study for the rest of my papers this weekend. long one.

Chinyu: CHINNNNNNNNN. lol let's go out someday lei. im srsly damn stress & tired & everything in school. zzzz. SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Queenie: !@#$%^&* lol. u suckaa haha

&fcking why does nobody wanna study on a public holiday? _|_

signed off @ 3:38 PM

Happy Birthday Jordan! 27th april!
my best best best buddy!

+++
i feels so good running on to you again. :)

+++
im trying my best to be a good friend. :(

+++
ive neutralised. :/

signed off @ 8:45 PM

Happy Birthday Zongwei! 15th April.!

i have long wordy/photos updates. but not by today.
mood-less. anyway. i just cut my hair. ^^

signed off @ 10:50 PM

Happy birthday Jasmine.! 02/04/1992

+++++
ok, after an incident just now, i seriously decide to slim down;go on diet;eat less exercise more ELEM! damn, it's like this:

after school, we guys went to a pinch of salt for that EAT ALL YOU CAN BUFFET !@#$%^&* &the greedy me just order like mad, eat and eat and eat. until im damn bloated. on the way home, i got a headache &a super duper bloated stomach until i almost cant walk properly. reach home i just took a quick bath &force myself to sleep cause i cannot stand my bloated-ness &i feel like vomiting. i asked my mum not to wake me up for dinner. but until i nid to leave home for lesson. ... when i woke up after 2 hours. i stretched myself; my pants buckle/button 'shot out' LOL!. i broke my buckle. !!! as i nid to leave ASAP, i didnt change &just left. cause, this pants is 30inch &my waist is 31.5inch.? somewhere there. i tot it was alright, cause it isnt the first time i broke the buckle. heh. the worse came, when i was having cello lesson, with my bloated stomach, i played normally then suddenly i heard a 'POP' sound. i was wondering wat was it. i didnt care, then after lesson i took the ALL-ROUNDED MIRROR lift, &I SAW MY ZIP OPEN. i just F.CKING BURST OFF MY ZIP. !@#$%^&*

A:"hehehehaha, count to 10 &dun look here!"
B:"why so long. count to 5 okay?... 1 .. 2 "
A:"nono! you have to close your eyes! ^^, 5 ah! dun look arh, "
B:"okayokay baby, start.,; 1.. 2.. 3.. 4.."
*A runs to hide behind a BIG BIG BIG pillar*
B just simply walk off. hahaha.! hilarious.
but A run a big round around the pillar then chase after B &gave her a hug from the back. :)

signed off @ 9:51 PM

i'll be the guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. The guy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, The one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. The one who turns to his friends and says, "...that' her."

-im gonna be this nice guy. TINK*TINK*

weed.: lol stop using chimmmm words like, PAEDOPHILE&CROUTCH. haha, eh saw you today XD hahahahaahhaa chiioooooo
chinyu.: STOP STALKING MY BLOG haha. i'll show you my OUTLINE someday. LOL. what a nonsense.
nat.: aww, i miss you! more often more often. miss suan-ing you sia.
queen.: wlao you, F OFF. lol . I NEED CASH. desperately haha.

signed off @ 10:29 PM

A Pinch Of Salt w ex CR classmates after school!
MUNA LEE & I
i look good. yes?
ahtan, momo, jiayu, luyan, muna
iLun & gWei

absurd act in class -

my e.hist partner cause yazeed says im always distracted when sitting with jordan.
look below to see why weixuan's frustrated face.:
attempt to act doraemon with the fan
another failed attempt.

after ehist, emaths lesson when jordan entertains me to take the photo for me
(jordan: ANG ANG ANG!)
haha, damn funny right. LOL! awesome photo, but lousy photographer.


DAMNIT, i split my pants when i tried to kick my class shortest person head,.
i was sexy, haha my tighs, ass, outline of testicles were seen when i walk. LOL

signed off @ 12:43 AM

welcome.


Eeron TAY /hiokloong
14/03/92; pisces
CCHms; 3MD'08/4MD'09
boring man.
mood-swings.
who knows, he hates you.

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